i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
