The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
