i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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