Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
