I think I died a long time ago.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
