if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
