I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
