Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
