considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
