found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
