What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
