i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we made out on top of his cat.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
