The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
