Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
