dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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