tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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