Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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