dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
