So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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