ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Boobs are out for the taking
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
