Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
