I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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