Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
