Pants 0. Shit 1.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize