I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize