maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
