eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
