If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
