and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
