believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
