Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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