dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
