Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
