What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
another moral hangover. fuck.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
