Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
