im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
