so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
