just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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