why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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