Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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