i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
vagina is talking i cant
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
