I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
