Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you win again, gameday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
