And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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