I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
