god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize