she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
