so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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