I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
