the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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