I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
