Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
