No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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