I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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