took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
