i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize