There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
